Breaking News - The Secret to the Smoke!

Sources tell me that a cardinal has revealed the secret to the colored smoke of the conclave,* and as last night's black smoke clearly indicated, they have found a way to make the black and white very distinguishable this time around.  Apparently, credit goes to a surly, burly American cardinal from New York (no names) who suggested an effective means of both getting dark black smoke and annoying liberal environmentalists at the same time.  You guessed it - they burned Dolan's empty plastic Coke bottles!  Already, evidence of it's effects on global warming are being felt as far north as Luxembourg, where nearly a half foot of snow lies on the ground, and temperatures are dipping as low as the high teens for the first time all year (in this typically temperate climate - in mid-March no less)!

OK... OK.  Though I would find that much more interesting and entertaining than the truth, here's a link to how it's really done, in case you haven't yet heard.

*Such sources exist only in my imagination.